I thought I knew her well. I thought 3 years we have been together was enough for me to expect every action she’ll make. And I was proved wrong. My heart felt cold and numb, I swear I can’t feel my heart beating when the news struck my ears. It was Sunday morning , a usual Sunday morning where I spent some time in church. The only odd thing is that she is not with me that morning. We usually went to church together and find some place to have our breakfast after the mass. She called me the night before, telling that she was not feeling well and couldn’t join. I didn’t suspect anything and after the mass ended, I drove to her house. From the distant, I could see her house was hovered with police cars and an ambulance. I was worried sick and the edgy feeling in me emerged as I saw her parents and siblings outside the house, crying but I can’t see any sign of her.
“Alex, what happened? “
I asked her younger sister. Alex sobbed hard and hugged me.
“Where is Haley ? “
I was desperate to see her. The worst thought came to me. Haley’s father touched my shoulder and uttered the words I feared.
“Mykal, she is gone. “ My whole body trembled.
“But she can’t be! “
I refused to believe. There is no way she left me. There is no way she would leave her beloved family.
“Mykal , get hold of yourself! “ He stressed. I clenched my fist. I looked his face and I saw the sorrow and grief we have .Then, the darkest dark covered my sight. I stumbled to the soft ground.
The funeral. I wish this is just a dream where I can wake up and found her sleeping soundly beside me. I just couldn't bear it. Oh man, how I wish this is a dream! I try to close my eyes when her body was buried. The prayers have been said and when the procession over, I stay behind with her family.
“I don’t understand. “
Jason muttered. We remain silent.
“Why would she take her own life? “
Jason cried softly. I glance at the 9 year-old boy. Among Haley siblings, he is the closest to Haley.
“She is not Jason! Mind your mouth.”
His father snapped. Alex wiped her tears hugging her mother. Jason stomped his feet and ran towards their car.
“I will be going then. “ Mr. and Mrs. Adam nodded.
“ Mykal, I want to be a writer.”
I smile and caressed her blonde, soft hair. Her fragrance made my smile lasted longer.
“You can be anything you want Haley. In fact, we all can. “. She laughed.
“Guess what I will write? “ She has always been like that. She love keep people guessing.
“Well, some romance and detective genre?” I cried as she pinched my hand.
“That’s so not my genre Mykal. How can you not know that? I read many story books of the same writer.”
She scowled. I laughed hard. Of course I knew whom. Though she is 18, she still love reading Enid Blyton books including those of J.K. Rowling. I think that books for kids. But she is a universal reader as I love to mention. She will grab any genre of books and read but her favorite is fantasy.
“You know I know Sweetie! “ I said. She smiled, exposing her charms that keep me live my life lively.
We fell in silence, enjoying the beauty of the night sky above us. The stars twinkling and the moon beamed brightly. I hugged her gently in the soft cold night. I have never been in love like this before. Never had the feeling to have to protect someone and wanting to spend the time with. She is the one. People may say that at this age, there is no such thing as love. It will not last forever. But I can feel that this one is going to be my true love. As in her side, I just can’t really assure. She is the kind of girl that hard to fathom.
There are just so much memories of us together.
============================
“Hey, what is with that guy?”
Haley bites her lower lip, looked hesitant. She packed her books into her bag.
“He is nobody. Just some old friend”
She replied promptly. I took another look at the guy of our age outside the class. I feel challenged. I’ve seen him talked to her before and she seems upset. That guy must have been her past boyfriend. We walked side by side to my car.
“Hey we’ll catch up with you later Mykal! “
I waved to Matt and several others of my friends. We have basketball practice for the next tournament. I really hope to beat the Wood High School. When I fasten my seatbelt, I realized that she was wiping her tears.
“Let’s see, what is that tears doing on your cheeks?”
“Some fool had come just to apologize.” She murmured.
“Who? The guy ?”
“He was my first crush.” I regretted for asking her. You know how it feels when your girlfriend talked about their ex-boyfriend.
“I am so into him when I finally discovered that he is gay.”
What?
“I found him kissing with Elton. During my birthday party, in my room.”
I almost dropped my jaw. What it is like to found that your boyfriend is a gay and kissed your cousin on your birthday party? Damn, it must be really hard. She looked away, trying to get over her feeling.
“It’s great though. You have me now” I whispered.
The thunderstorm slashed the memories of us that keep playing in my mind. I walked to the open window in my bedroom. The raindrops landed on my skin, my face. Somehow, it feels like her tears except it was cold, so cold that I shivered. There is a void inside my heart. So deep I am afraid no one can fill it up.
Spring. It was the most significant day yet I chose to ignore the words she expressed. There, on the swing we celebrated our third anniversary. The breeze kissed our skin.
“I think death is beautiful.”
“It is. But not for those left behind.”
She took my hand and placed it on her chest.
“Will you swear that you’ll take care of our reminiscences if I can’t? “
I felt a sudden fear upon her request. I friskily heaved my hand and grinned.
“We were meant to be together. Don’t worry about that. I will never let age or what so ever to erase it.”
“I wish we can stay like this forever, Mykal. But I don’t belong here.”
“Say no more of the nonsense Haley.”
We laughed. I thought she is kidding around, jesting. And I was proved wrong. She took her own life, with a serene, beautiful face on the Sunday morning. I never know her well actually. But I thought I did. Are you gratified now, Haley? You leave us to grieve, to take sorrow upon your death? What is it that forced you to do it? Is the love we’ve poured to you wasn’t enough? You leave me to walk this earth, without you. It is unbearable, but I can’t take the same path you chose. I always and forever love you, Haley.
Forever Yours,
Mykal.
THE END................................................................................................................
